well we have just found out that it is a cancerous tumor on his throat. it is inoperable. he has been referred to another doctor and will soon be receiving chemo and radiation to get rid of the anamoly. we are still praying that it will go away without a hitch. im in a pretty bad mood right now. thats all i have to say for now.
Monthly Archives: February 2004
my dad, car insurance, and the baby
we will find out by tomorrow afternoon what we are up against with my father.
as far as the car insurance. can you believe one place wont give a quote for 4 weeks after the initial consultation? another place cant take new policies, another place doesnt have an appt until the end of next month, and all the other places say we arent bad enough drivers and we are too responsible to be insured????!!!!! we dont have 7 points between us, we dont have any real tickets, we dont have cancelled insurance for nonpayment, we dont have any kind of bad driving records so we cant get insured. how freakin sick is that???? so my dad told me about a guy who gave him insurance when no one else would so i will be looking into that tomorrow morning, too.
my baby turned a year old officially tonight. i was having serious birth flashbacks. it was crazy, i was even getting cramping!!! his daddy bought him a cool hotwheels truck that he fell in love with as soon as he saw it. his face lit up so bright! the boy loooooves cars and trucks. so anywhoooo…. i am going to try and put him in his
own space to sleep tonight: on his mattresses on the floor. we shall see how well that pans out. hes still wide awake right now. i cant believe its been a year already! and he’s STILL ALIVE! ha ha and so am i LOL. he’s been happy and laughing all day like he knew today was his birthday.
recent jokes told between father and daughter:
dad: i had a girlfriend once who had a wooden leg…but i had to break it off!
- – -
dad: i may sound dead but i feel alive, when you see me i look fine
me: well lazarus looked dead but he got up and walked out of the tomb!
thats all i can think of right now. we were in a really fun mood the last few days. takes the tension of the waiting away.
well i have decided to get a rosary and i went to look at them today. i cant believe how much they charge for a decent one! the cheapest 20 bucks the most 48 bucks. mid range 30. what a gip! i cant believe how much these ppl are making off of metal chains with fakey crystal beads and metal pendants attached! thank God there are ppl in the world that give them for free or a very minimal shipping fee. i think its shameful how much money they are allowed to charge for stuff. wanna read more about my rosary decision, visit my other journal.
getting ready for the party and forgot about the essentials: cups and plates. ugh. more shopping tomorrow i guess.
car insurance and various other things.
anyone know of a cheap one in jersey that doesnt take 2 weeks to instate? we are such slackers!!! i need insurance by the end of friday!
my dad said he feels a difference in his chest just from the part of the mass they took out for the biopsy. my son is a full year old as of 10:27pm feb 26th. we have more family coming over friday and staying till sunday. the other family just left today. my poor son is all happy and running around in circles laughing b/c there is actually room to move again. poor kid doesnt even realize it is a short lived freedom. im tired. i havent played my guitar since yesterday around 2am. stressed to the max and in need of a serious break. my sil is coming over sat specifically to help me set up for the party. im glad she volunteered. my other sil will already be here. i want to go see “the passion” so i hope we will get some free time to do that. i will be giving the baby to someone for those few hours so he wont suffer having to sit still and i wont suffer trying to make him. hubby told me he doesn understand why ppl write in journals that everyone in the world can read.
my son is watching lingo with me. i really wanna practice my guitar but he wont let me without a fight so i have to wait until he decides to fall out, at which point i may do the same and then all hope is lost for any kind of practice.
on another note: i cant wait to see you again brenna. you will be so shocked when you see your godson’s progress.
and everyone: thanx for all the lovely comments i got on my last post.
bleh
my daddy went in for a biopsy today so we are praying he doesnt have cancer. the test results come back friday. i cant sleep for praying and thinking about him. i just got my daddy back into my life and i dont want to lose him or his influence. im pretty down right now…even though i have a gorgeous guitar to which this picture really does NO justice at all. we bought it monday from this awesome store Main Street Music for a better than awesome price. but every time i look at it, i think of my father and then i start praying all over again… as if i have stopped. im looking into getting or making a rosary for some reason or antother…i just feel like i need to be praying constantly and this will be the reminder i need.
my baby turns one year old tomorrow and his party is saturday. im so not ready. the more i think i am, the more i feel im not. i have a few things left to get…dip, chips, candy
for the pinata, soda, pork shoulder (a PR thang), and the balloon that will go over the top of his chair. it will be the only one filled with helium. he loves shiny balloons. i have invited everyone and am guessing they will all forget and i will be stuck here with mad food and no guests. i think we are getting pizza too. first and foremost on my mind is my father, though. no matter what else i do or think about he always comes back on my mind. anywayz…i might go read the bible some more or pray some more or play a video game… i wish i could just go back to sleep. my son woke me up screaming and it took me like 1/2 hr or more to get him back to sleep. i was soooooooo knocked out!!! now im all wide awake and nearly freaking out.
there is so much stuff going on. i wish i could tell it all here to get it off my mind, but i cant. some stuff is just too complicated and too personal i guess. all i really want is for life to be happy and normal and free. shouldve cherished those teen years when i had nothing to worry about. too bad. im about to be 24, i have a year old kid, i have been married going on 3 years, and i have to pay attention to everything i say or do b/c of the type of “environment” im living in. so dang aggravating. used to be simple as locking the door and pumping up the music to let out all my teen angst. maybe it just seems simple now b/c its less than what im doing today…cuz back then it didnt seem all that simple. actually, it WAS more complicated. see now ive been a hypocrite or something like that to MYSELF… ooooh! my aching swirling brain!!! i think that was the signal for me to go do something else now.
funeral went as well as could be expected i guess. we were in the same eerie church that i had to go to when my dear friend Angel passed only about a year or so ago. it gave me flashbacks. i had to sing at the viewing of that funeral and it was the hardest thing i have ever had to do. i sang for such a looooong time and finally it was time to do the service and try not to throw myself into the grave after him. my s/o was there with me and held me up that day, literally. this time not so bad, although very sad. i feel like i lost a soon to be true friend. we didnt know each other very well but i know his kids and the love of his life and that was knowing him. he looked like he fell asleep and never knew a thing after. he didnt look sick or swollen which i was happy about. too much makeup, but mostly he looked like himself. it was a loooooooong day.
me and hubby got out tonight and went to see about getting a new TV. went to Best Buy for that and they were sold out of the one we want, so we have to wait till tuesday to get it. then we went to Godfather’s. the service was beyond terrible and my husband ended up wit
h a piece of paper caught in his throat. the chef left the paper under his stromboli and he didnt see it until it was too late. their service has been degrading ever since the first time we went there. one time we were even treated like paupers. the lady never asked us if we wanted dinner menus she just assumed that we werent rich enough to afford it, gave us lunch menus, and treated us like crap. that day we ordered really expensive stuff just to tick her off and show her something. this time the waitress took the stromboli off the bill and apologized more than enough for the chef cuz it wasnt her fault… she made sure we knew that IT WASNT HER FAULT. she still got like a $3 tip b/c we did get my food and it was ok. other than that she would have gotten NADA. it took us 45 min just to get our drinks!
i was going to go look at guitars today but we didnt since we needed time alone and away. our relatives have been staying here all week and it’s pretty noisy in here. we left the baby with my MIL and left for nearly 3 hrs. it did me good to get the stress out. i will go look at guitars monday and tuesday and make my decision by tues afternoon. i have to go to 3 places and test out guitars. it will be a rigorous but worth it 2 days spent in stores.
i wish i was sleepy but its getting harder for me to sleep here. i have so much on my mind it’s hard for me to settle down. church in the morning i guess, if i can pry myself out of the bed in time. we shall see, though. i want to go with hubby to AC to a church we like down there. im tired of the vineyard.
baby’s birthday coming up and i have to go see my mom about the cake and whatnot. i will have to post a pic of it when its all over with. i have 5 rolls of film to develop already…all of my lil bu . hes just to cute not to have film on hand at all times!!! he walks like a pro now. we are still fighting with his crankiness cuz of his impending teeth, but all will be better soon.
i guess im getting a bit tired now so i will go. love ya’ll.
ugh
so the funeral is tomorrow and i don’t think i’m quite ready for it. i know that the people i care for are in a lot of pain and i just pray that i can handle the pressure and not buckle. i am seen as strong and i would like it to stay that way. i need to be there for my nephew and my nieces and my sis in law who will all be very upset. my hubby is trying to get out early so he can attend and be there for the family too. i don’t really know what else to say. i am very sad about it. i will not be wearing black because i don’t believe that you should make it sadder for yourself by being all in dark colors. too many people dying too close to me. we have to pick up the flower arrangement from us tomorrow morning. i just want something simple beautiful and from the heart.
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milo vidro: obituary and other things
things have been pretty raunchy lately. it has been hard not to break down with most of the rest of the family over the recent loss of milo.
bvn Continue reading
annoyances
this time is harder than ever. marisol and willie want to argue. mom and dad get involved, then its about me, and now we have an all out war going on. the kids are watching the whole scene. jaylene is scared and crying. i get blamed for so many things. will gets blamed. and now mom has had a nervous breakdown in the hallway. i dont know what to do. i just want to leave and never ever come back.