Bucket O' Bulletz

:: KODAK DX3215 is what i bought but the one you have is the one i wanted i got totally terribly outbid for it and it wasnt worth trying to get it in the end. it only ended up being about 40$ cheaper than a brand new one with a valid warranty.
ganked from

im gonna see tomorrow !!! yay. we are going to the park near her house to chill. im so psyched!
daddy is out of the hospital and doing great! just pray the swelling goes down in his throat so he doesnt have to be in pain when he swallows. he still has one chemo session but that is a breeze for him… thank God radiation is totally over now!
will meets with the manager of Wendy’s at 5 tomorrow so pray all goes well and everything is what we need.
baby is asleep early hallelujah!!! im exhausted and am not far behind him. just wanted to see what was going on around here. love ya’ll. more tomorrow.

i get a chance to post this! my dad has been in the hospital all weekend due to complications with the after effects of radiation on his body. he is still there, expected to come back home tomorrow God willing. he was having chest pains and going in and out of deliriousness. he’s back to his good normal self now, but they wanna watch one more day due to a weird episode of his pulse shooting to voer 150 last night but today is below 90.
i have been running nonstip it seems cuz there is so much to do. will got his interviews yesterday and i got my transcript. the interviews went well, and we went to wendy’s to eat afterwards and he ended up getting a job offer for manager’s position which is hilarious since all we did was go there to eat. they make good money so we will see what happens with the other job and he will make his decision. im getting situated for school, but i ma having hte dilemma of finding a place for my kid every day for 4 hrs. so far he has to be 3 and potty trained, neither of which he will be when it comes time for school.

a lot of these answer
s are ’s b/c we agree
Abortion?: I think it should be illegal except for very extreme medical related exceptions. You shouldn’t be able to kill a baby just because you can’t be responsible. *nods*
Death Penalty?: I think it’s wrong and agree with Chrissy that prisons should be more like dungeons and less “humane” *nods*
Prostitution?: I think it should be regulated to protect the prostitute but not illegal. If a woman wants to make money having sex, that’s her business **adding that there have been prostitutes since the Bible days, ti wont change..at least get ppl protected from each other**
Alcohol?: I think the US is way too immature about alcohol with it’s constant need to get drunk to party. Am I the only one who can have a good time while sober? *nods*
Marijuana?: I think it should be legal but regulated. Though it’s supposedly less harmful than cigarettes so there you go *nods*
Other drugs?: Eh. I think the government makes more money from seizures with them illegal than it would ever make through taxation were it legal so it’s a moot point *nods*
Gay marriage?: this is one i have to answer myself. God says no, I say no. no civil unions no marriage. the Bible clearly states he created them man and woman for each other and He denounces men lying with men and women lying with women.
Illegal immigrants?: should be allowed with thorough background checks first
Smoking?: should be banned everywhere. *nods*
Drunk driving?: is awful and should be more harshly punished *nods*
Cloning?: absolutely not. Life is crazy enough already **adding, they dont really know what the outcome will be so why play with fire… you always get burned eventually**
Racism?: is retarded **and very stupid. we all look the same under our skin**
Premarital sex?: is retarded. I think any casual sex is stupid. Save it for a serious committed relationship and you won’t have to worry about STD’s or unwanted pregnancy
Religion?: **i dont really care about what religion you are, just dont come and bash me cuz you dont agree**
The war in Iraq?: ***just the birthpains…getting ready for the end.
Bush?: Is not so horrible as everyone thinks. *nods*
Downloading music?: Not a big deal. Shouldn’t be prosecuted. How about spending taxpayers money on more serious crimes *nods*
The legal drinking age?: should be younger. Maybe then it wouldn’t be such a big deal to drink *nods*
Porn?: *is addictive and they should have PVA porn viewers anonymous*
Suicide?: *no point to it although it seems like there is*
What is your stand on….. brought to you by BZOINK!

so thats all for now until i get more time to update GOD BLESS!!!

SOOO after a looong looong time of hemhawing i get my hair colored with PERMANENT hair color. i even got a type that is supposed to be made for dark people with dark hair. oh the color was beautiful…ON THE BOX! it was SUPPOSED to be red. volcano blaze dark red. it ended up being :
BOZO THE CLOWN ORANGE!!!
only in the front.. it loooked like i had attached a ring of fire to my head. it was freakin terrible! the only plus was that there is way more hair on my head than the one color bottle could vover so the rest of my hair was more like highlighted and turned out red like it was supposed to. i had to run around with a cap on my head until i got to sally’s and bought some semi permanent brown to cover the orange and make it into red. it looks much much better now thank God. my mother and i were horrified. i blame it on my husband. he picked the color. but who would have thought that only one part of my hair would react so drastically? i have it in braids now so when i take it out it will look totally awesome!
in other news:
my kid is too much and gets worse every day LOL. today he said the words red, amarillo, yellow, guitar … and many more i have yet to understand. he stacked cans and played his little guitar. so darn cute. we saw my dad and he put on the cutest little dance show!
thanx to all who listened to me rant in the previous post. i appreciate all your wonderful thoughts and comments. i had contemplated making it a private post but forgot and ended up spilling the beans to you all. its okay now i have my bearings about me again.
im getting a digital cam from ebay and im so excited! i cant wait to start taking pics with it. its an awesome camera…my mil has the same exact one. mine comes with extra memory so i will have to get a card reader which is also cheap on ebay and more extra memory before i go on my vacation…you guessed it also from ebay. i looooove ebay. they are the bomb! walmart wawa cvs and ebay. my list is growing.
im tired and im going to bed now …i have more to say but this post is long enough and i know i hate reading long posts so i wont bore you any longer love ya’ll nitey night.

i have been reading stuff on poetry.com looking for my sister’s poetry. she told me they entered her in the contest cuz they liked one of her poems. i was unaware how many ppl hane her name. wasnt so hard to find though i have decided that my poetry will no longer be seen. i have gotten a discouraging feeling from reading some of the poetry others write. so full of vision and imagination, color and imagery, passion and feeling, and so much more. i dont possess that ability anymore. all ihave written havent been to great. i dont really expect anyone to rebutt what i am saying now. i just know that i have written only one good poem and one nearly okay poem in the last 3 years. everything even remotely palatable was written when i was a depressed and lost soul. what of me now? i should have all kinds of exhortations and beautiful words flowing from every oraffice of poetic expression. and i am drier than the sahara in drought season. no words for me. what am i to do? i have bearely been writing songs lately. i feel so full and so empty. maybe im just really sleepy and i hate reflecting on myself.
%0
D
i told my dearest one a secret i have been keeping since the day i got raped and he scoffed at me! i wish to God i had never opened my mouth. no one else but God knows this secret and he made me feel just like i thought he would and i was so wishing he would comfort me instead of making me feel like a total ridiculous fool. i couldnt even tell him how much it hurt me that he didnt console me. i have been bottling this up for seven years. dear God heal my dying broken heart.
i need to go to bed but i know all i will think about it everything i have been pushing from my mind for so long … playing over and over in my mind … wishing things had gone differently … Jesus i know your plan is bigger than my small mind and peripheral vision can fathom, but please please give me a clue, a hint, a glimpse, anything.
i keep looking in the mirror of myself and all i can see is ugliness. grotesque. beastly. im not really a nice person. im not. i have you all fooled. i am mean and evil and vindictive and caniving. i am cruel and brooding and vengeful and even violent. i forgive but dont forget. im impatient and become furious on a dime, even with my sweet child. i still lie and convice myself its the truth. i shouldnt be allowed out in society yet society seems to be so much like me…and i still dont belong. trying to get lost in a crowd is a waste of energy cuz i always get singled out… in my mind or by my trying so hard to not be seen. i shouldnt be the mother of the angel God has graced me with or the wife of the generous husband i have married. he is a man so his emotional esp is rarely on point so i can understand why he reacted differently to what i said than i thought he should. he really is genuinely a doll. i find myself being evil to him more than nice. i feel like a ticking bomb waiting to explode and ruin everything good in my life…again.
sorry for all this i just had to get it out.
God bless you all im sorry i have burned your eyes up in such a way.
i love you guys.
so many have worse problems than i … i really have no right to complain… o dear God God God!!!!!!!!!!! help me.

from

we went to walmart and forgot to look at baby potties, but we did get 2 more xbox controllers, baby einstein language nursery video, hermie and flo max lucado video, “the glorious appearing” final book of left behind series, and somt other stuff. how quickly one can spend a hundred bucks. im gonna make walmart icons man cuz that is the store, next to wawa anywayz.
im gonna go get my hair colored tomorrow. hi rez volcano blaze. should be pretty. im also going to go to my grandmother’s and play my guitar for her in the morning. it should be an awesome surprise for her. i love my grammy!!!
more later . i leave u with this:
“ask not what your feifdom can do for you, but what you can do for your feifdom!”
martin lawrence in black knig
ht

I adopted a cute lil’ ninja fetus in honor of
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
im tired and i dont feeeel gooood
anywayz my daddy has his last radiation treatment tomorrow. YAYYYYYY!!! one more chemo in about 2 mos and that should be the end of this drama hallelujah!!!
my hubby got an interview with a HOT job at stockton so pray all goes well and he gets the job! he also applied to dj painting but the first job pays better and is wayyyy more convenient. too cool. im excited.
my son is eating like a crazy person again. thank God for that too.
i am thinking i had something else to say…oh yeah at the job fair i saw my ex and he told me his sister’s number so i have to call her and see whazzup. i saw my cousin and her kid who is not such a kid anymore. she grew up and she got so big an’ pretty LOL.
jilly i pray you are feeling better soo
n. i love ya girl!!!!
bren letme know wazzup with the day out
all ya’ll i’ll hit ya up later
peace\/

sooo cool the pics he took and posted in Wawa is the bomb diggity LOL
my son had fun stealing my mom in law’s phone and picking pressing “talk” when the phone rang and then turning the phone off again…thus hanging up on various ppl while running around the house so we couldnt catch him. he is too funny.
he also has a shoe problem. he has to carry them all over the house and give them to ppl or lick the soles *ewwwww* or he isnt happy. he forever does everything he isnt supposed to and waits for you to notice so he can laugh at you cuz you cant stop him. today he pulled the entire satellite plug out of the wall… i mean the plate, the screws, the cord, and the adapter out of the wall WITH ONE SWIFT YANK!!!! i had to get needlenose pliers to pry the cord out of the wall far enough so i could attach the whole thing back together again. too strong. AND HE’S ONLY 14 MOS OLD.
I had to take him to the doc right, so he is 20 lbs 12 ozs *feels more like 25* 30 inches tall and has a head 18 inches around! this kid’s brain
is humungous!!!!! he knows how to screw off some bottle tops, open every cabinet or drawer without a superhuman strength magnet attached, he understands what ppl say like “wave” “clap” “turn around” and all kinds of other stuff. he can repeat full sentences if he feels like it. he’s too much. he’s getting another tooth on the bottom which will give him a grand total of 7: 4 top 3 bottom.
tonight we are alllll alone. my mom and pop in law took my niece to MD to see their daughter but ended up in a hotel till tomorrow. its cool. i like it when its quiet and i can think and have my kid to myself sometimes. he’s getting much better. he’s almost over his cold. i pray that he doesnt get anything else anytime soon. i hope will feels like taking him to the park to play tomorrow cuz its gonna be such a gorgeous day.
i guess thats it for now… love ya’ll and God bless!!!!

my son and i went to the park today while my hubby worked out at the gym. he had a ball and kept running and crawling all over the playgym there…until he decided to come head first out of the crawl tube and bust his nose. plz someone remind me when not to say “ok just one more time” so my kid wont end up with blood running from some part of his face !!!!!
we got nearly no sleep last night cuz the little bugger is sicker than sick and he couldnt breathe so he woke up crying every 5 seconds or so. very annoying and very saddening. then i paid his doc $20 just to tell me that i should keep him next to the shower for the steam and take him outside. my own mother told me about the shower thing FOR FREE!!!!!! how i wanted to strangle this doctor! he made me listen to his lungs and the baby’s lungs so i would stop freaking about his wheezing. my son’s lungs are clear but that doesnt take from the fact the poor thing cant breathe!!!!!!!!! i just paid this guy on monday so he could tell me the same thing and then i call him today and try to get him to prescribe someth
ing for wheezing just so he could tell me to come and and listen through a stethoscope so i will leave the him alone! then as if im freakin neurotic and have nothing better to do than be a hypochondriac for my kid he proceeded to give me his entire schedule of on and off call days for the next week and to make sure i knew that even though he would be out having beers with his buddies he would still come in just to calm my neurotic fantasizing self down. i have a good mind to call him just to tick him off and get his drunk butt out of the bar and doing his friggin job!!!!!!!!! i used to like this doctor, now i think i have made a mistake in giving him my husband AND my son to watch over. he urrrrrks me beyond belief right now and all i wanna do is SMITE HIM!!!!
thank God the nurse had sense and reassured me by telling me that more often than not MOTHER SENSE is better than DOCTOR SENSE any day of the week. a mother knows. nuff said.
in other news….
radiation is taking a hiatus for my dad until monday so he can recup some white blood cells. then he will resume the end of his radiation.
and in conclusion…words of wisdom to end your day
life is like:
a bug
stuck
in a bowl
of cold gravy.
~compliments of a famous philosopher —————————————-> me ~
off to bed and watching judy garland in presenting lily mars. hopefully i will fall asleep soon. i miss sleep. he’s my boyfriend and he hasnt been calling. i think he’s cheating on me with another pillowhugger.