Bucket O’ Bulletz

posted by Sun T. on Aug 27

Dang I hate that I am so sporadic. I HATE IT. I mean, I make schedules, general plans, to-do lists, and even join FLYLady. I pray. I try REALLY hard. I just want to be consistent for longer than a few months. Sporadic consistency sucks more than constant inconsistency. I have told myself to be consistent even when my feelings aren’t into it. Then something will happen, either unexpected guests/trips/issues or my knees freak out on me… or whatever. Then I have to fight back to what I was doing, but it never gets quite there. I am so sick of my own unpredictabilty. The answer is usually some sort of dampering drug that will make me a zombie-like creature who does all things as if under a heavy fog. I can’t have that.

So what am I supposed to do? I am trying to “beat my body into submission” *like that guy in the Bible did*, but it’s not easy. I am rebelling against myself every moment!

posted by Sun T. on Apr 7

What are you planning to do this summer? I plan to chill out as much as possible. I mean, the best thing about summer is that lots of people are off work more often so you can see them and hang out. I miss barbecues. I adore hanging out in hammock chairs, reminiscing about good times with the fam. It’s a great feeling. We have a few reunions, weddings, and baby showers coming up in summer. So tell me about your plans.

posted by Sun T. on Jan 2

I am starting to shy away from communities I used to visit every day due to the feeligns I am getting from people there. It seems like there are a lot of people that are being snippy. Maybe it’s just me. I have been talked down to more than once. People have been beating dead horses with hammers. I have seen other people brutally rebuffed by others online. It’s like sniping insanity. Is it just me or have others noticed this, too?

Tags: snippy+people

posted by Sun T. on Nov 20

Who knew that the truth could set you so free? I mean, really free? I just got a whole lot of truth off my shoulders and I couldn’t feel better. Six years of holding things in will take a toll on you. I bet I even look a year younger. Letting go of toxic feelings and pent up hurts really does bog down the system. There is something to deciding that you will not longer live under someone else’s thumb. There is such a freedom in knowing that you have told what is right and true, that your anger is no longer pent up. It’s awesome to feel the tension in your shoulders release some, even if only a little. I have been told by my therapist that I can no longer just harbor the anger and frustration within myself. I have to let it out, tactfully, of course. The real point is to let it out, tell the truth, and let God finish the work for you. As long as you purge yourself and say things without malice, I think God blesses that.

Did you hear that?

I just

exhaled.

Tags: anger, pent+up+frustration, frustration, anxiety, freedom

posted by Sun T. on Nov 17

I made corn fritters this morning for breakfast. I thought that they would be a hit, considering that my hush puppies were lapped up so quickly when I made them. Who could have guessed that corn pancakes and donut-like muffins with corn would garner such a different reaction?

My husband found that the pancakes were “nasty” and therefore promptly pushed them aside. I enjoy them thoroughly, so it was like “more for me!”.

Honestly, though, he hurt my self-esteem. He doesn’t get that when he says my food is nasty there is an equation that goes something like this:

Sure, it shouldn’t be that way … but it is. His reaction made this happen to me:

See how that happened? I hate math, but these are equations of the heart. His reaction to my food quality added up to Nasty. Nasty is equal to Me.

There you have it. A mathematical analysis of why I got so PO’d this morning that I threw his food into the kitchen.

Blogged with Flock

Tags: math, self+esteem, self+worth, cooking, food

posted by Sun T. on Oct 21

yeah, one of those days

Originally uploaded by SockMopTart

My current picture for Self Portrait Sunday. It is definitely one of those days…more like one of those lifetimes, but that’s a whole other thing.

Find more self portraits on Digicass.com.

Technorati Tags: Self Portrait Sunday

posted by Sun T. on Sep 26

that is sung to the tune of “I Enjoy Being A Girl”. UGH and UGH. I feel like I have been dragged by my ankles through the rain down a trash filled alley. I wish I could retire for the day but I cannot. Now I have to cook dinner! *grumble grumble* AND WHY does my son, who has been mostly good acting all day, decide to wait till his father gets here to NOT listen to me? OMG It’s like he is trying to show me as a weak mother. I hate this *pout*

posted by Sun T. on Sep 25

I could wash the dishes

or unload the dishwasher

or fold clothes

….

eh.

I could prepost stuff for Friday.

eh.

I’m starting to get exhausted. I think it might be time for a Pepsi.

I should have put one in the freezer 20 minutes ago.

eh.

HOLY SMOKES! The man will be home for dinner. What am I gonna cook?

I think I will read some more Helen of Troy and call it an afternoon… maybe. I want to look at this other website real quick though, and tell you about it…if I find it interesting.

I have a hobby I am going to restart doing:

more on that later…