Bucket O' Bulletz

I got something called Dejavu for my nails and my face. One thing is a facial peel you do once a week. The other is a nail treatment you do once a month. Hubby was splurging on me and got me this stuff, as well as more clothes *yes after our spree in the Bx*. I am happy that he is happy to help me be even more happy with myself.

Got a sample of Kinky Curly Curling Custard the other day and fell in total love. My son’s hair looks fantabulous, even after sleeping on it. My hair looked great yesterday and I refreshed it a bit today .. it still looks good. The husband agrees, so we are BUYING this stuff next week when he gets paid *woot!*

So what is it that this stuff does? It defines actual curls and waves. It makes your hair do what it does, but better. Sure, it’s 26 bucks a can, but you don’t use a lot. I got a 1.5 oz sample and have used it less than half to mess around in my hair and my son’s hair.

I have to get rid of a few things in my repertoire of hair care, though, now that I am going KCCC. It doesn’t work that great with silicones or any cones. Mind you, I am using them and have the KCCC in my hair, it’s working well…but I just know it could be better. So, I am switching to these types of products:

Suave Naturals *shampoo / conditioner * OR White Rain Naturals
Olive Oil *actual, not the sheen*
WATER!!! *It’s not the enemy anymore*
Fantasia Frizz Gel *sparingly and only when needed*
and of course Kinky Curly Curling Custard

I will still do roller sets with the Organics Olive Oil setting foam stuff, but that’s when I won’t be using KCCC. Just something to change up the styles.

I can hardly contain my glee.

Well it’s been a good while since I talked about the progress of my hair. Here is the downlow on that.

February to Today:

Huge difference in eleven months! I have mostly all natural hair, with very few relaxed bits left. It’s hard to tell since some of my hair just straightens out like it’s been pressed the minute you brush it. Combing is a big no no. It hurts and makes my hair more tangled. Weird, right? Well I think that the comb doesn’t grab enough hair at once for it to make a uniform difference and it gets all confused at some point.

I am using these products:

Organic Root Stimulater Olive Oil Sheen Spray, usually after it’s washed and fully dry once a week. My hair is holding moisture marvelously since beginning to use this.

Profectiv Break Free Daily Leave-in Strengthener, though only once every two weeks. I am not trying to use it as much as i once was since my broken off hair has grown back and is comparable to the length of the rest on the back of my head.

Profectiv Anti Tangle Leave in Conditioner Spray 6 Oz #00113, sometimes I use this when my hair is in a heaping mess and I need help getting through it. Not very often, anymore. I am more likely to use this on my son’s gorgeously curly hair than on my own.

Shortlooks Twist It 2 in 1 Max Shine, I use this when I want to slick it back in a ponytail or when I make/take out braids so that they will keep their definition like here.

That’s pretty much IT for hair care, other than that wonderful Dove Intense Damage Therapy Conditioner and shampoo. I always water them down so I get 1/2 and 1/2. It still does amazing wonders for my hair.

I was sitting at my mother’s house and my sister’s baby daddy says “oh look you got your little kangaroo pouch out today” as if it were something cute. I was like WHAT? I’M NOT FAT NOR DO I HAVE A POUCH!!! It’s a good thing I am not that impressionable or offended, since when I stand up my “pouch” goes away…but if it had been someone else they may have downed a whole bottle of Fentraphen that instant. I used to be paranoid about being fat, but since I got comfortable in my skin moreso than ever, it isn’t having a long term negative effect on my self esteem. Go me.

I am trying to come up with a new picture of myself because I don’t like the other ones anymore. This morning I decided to try with my braid out look and see if I liked it any better. What do you think?

Firstly, because my husband wants to move us to Puerto Rico.

Secondly, because I just looked at the real estate down there and found out I could have owned 3 houses with the rent we are paying now.

Thirdly, I took this test and came out with this answer:

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can ‘do it’ and what is more, you will – without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

You are an emotional and sensitive person. You are inclined to delight and wallow in all things that give pleasure to your senses but nevertheless your tastes are refined and you reject anything that is indecent or vulgar.

Matters are not progressing as well as you would have hoped and you are having to make concessions – but you still believe that your goals are realistic it’s just that people can’t seem to see your point of view. You know what you want but you’ll only accept suggestions under duress.

You refuse to relax or to give in and you are endeavouring to keep exhaustion and depression at bay by keeping active. You are experiencing a relationship or a situation which is not satisfactory but you feel powerless to change it. You have that ‘need to be needed’ but you do little to achieve the sense of belonging that you need. You try to disguise your feelings of insecurity and so you continue to resist this state of affairs – and as a consequence you are experiencing tension and stress. Your depression makes you irritable and impatient. You have that urge to get away from the situation, either actually or mentally. You are finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate.

The stress that you are experiencing at this time is due to the present situation – a situation of your own making. But trying to ignore it, hoping that it will go away, will only aggravate it further. What you need to do is to slow down – to relax and re-think the situation and by going slow, you may be amazed to find that most of your problems will resolve themselves.

and it is ridiculously accurate… I want to run so bad right now.

I am sitting here, wishing for words to type. I feel like I am on the verge of going bonkers. I am looking around my house and I can’t do much about the converging mess that is creeping over the floors like growing vines. I want to scrub things, but I can’t without feeling as though I am busting a lung. Thank God this can’t last forever. My futures trading up or down: either I get well or I don’t. I feel promise, but it’s so hard to feel that promise the whole day. The night sets in, the pains increase, the chills hover around my fingers trying to cling to my skin. I can feel them…trying to take hold, but the fever is gone. Why does it continue to try and plague me? My brain is higher than my head, floating on the essence of my existence.

Dang I hate that I am so sporadic. I HATE IT. I mean, I make schedules, general plans, to-do lists, and even join FLYLady. I pray. I try REALLY hard. I just want to be consistent for longer than a few months. Sporadic consistency sucks more than constant inconsistency. I have told myself to be consistent even when my feelings aren’t into it. Then something will happen, either unexpected guests/trips/issues or my knees freak out on me… or whatever. Then I have to fight back to what I was doing, but it never gets quite there. I am so sick of my own unpredictabilty. The answer is usually some sort of dampering drug that will make me a zombie-like creature who does all things as if under a heavy fog. I can’t have that.

So what am I supposed to do? I am trying to “beat my body into submission” *like that guy in the Bible did*, but it’s not easy. I am rebelling against myself every moment!